By: Janet L. Gemmell, Lawyer, Board Certified Family Law Specialist, Divorce Attorney Extraordinaire, and Parent Coordinator
The mother in the case of In re: K.C. is not just a tragedy—it’s an outrage. A baby, barely a year old, suffered from severe medical issues, including MRSA, jaundice, and a hernia, while his mother—who was supposed to be his protector—missed appointment after appointment. We’re not talking about one or two cancellations due to bad weather or an unavoidable conflict. No. This mother missed 24 out of 41 critical medical appointments over the course of her infant son’s first year of life, leaving him in pain and dangerously untreated. How could we, as a society, allow this to happen? How could Child Protective Services of Lenoir County allow this?
Baby Ken’s Pain: Ignored, Prolonged, and Unconscionable
Picture this: a newborn, vulnerable and fragile, suffering from a hernia that, without surgery, left him in constant pain. Imagine a baby unable to communicate his suffering, depending entirely on the adults in his life to advocate for him and get him the medical help he so desperately needs. And yet, his mother repeatedly missed medical appointments. The baby had MRSA, a dangerous bacterial infection, but she couldn’t be bothered to consistently follow through with necessary treatment.
How long was little Ken left untreated while his condition worsened? How many nights did he cry in discomfort because his mother chose to ignore appointment reminders? Every missed appointment was another missed opportunity to ease this child’s suffering, another step toward long-term damage. The facts are chilling.
Where Were the Doctors and Social Services?
What’s equally enraging is how the system—the doctors, the social workers—allowed this to drag on for so long. When a mother misses not just one, but dozens of medical appointments for an infant with serious health issues, there should be immediate, decisive action. Where were the child protection advocates? Where were the professionals who are supposed to step in before things go this far? The signs were glaring, yet baby Ken was left to suffer as the adults in his life turned a blind eye.
Ken’s mother was already flagged for substance abuse when he was born, with both her and the baby testing positive for amphetamines. So why did it take 24 missed appointments for social services to intervene? What about the doctors, nurses, and other medical care providers who saw Ken repeatedly but never took stronger steps to escalate their concerns? This level of neglect should never be tolerated, much less ignored for so long.
My colleague, Erica Benson who practices primarily in Onslow County, in her blog argues that poverty is to blame and our society should step up to offer solutions to systemic problems. Yet, the services exist from food stamps, WIC, and Medicaid, all the way to Section 8 housing and other benefits. The truth is that the mother was selfish, self centered, and was not willing to sacrifice for the child’s needs on any level. One or two missed appointments, but 24? Come on! Do we need better and more housing services for single, low income families? Yes, of course we do, but when you have options and benefits and you ignore them, that is choice.
The Real Victim: Baby Ken
Let’s not lose sight of who the real victim is in this case. This is not about the mother’s challenges or excuses. It’s about **a baby**—a helpless child—who was left in pain because his mother couldn’t be bothered to take responsibility. While we make excuses for parents who are too disorganized or indifferent to attend their child’s medical appointments, the child suffers. This isn’t a “systemic issue” or “transportation problem”—this is blatant **neglect**.
The courts rightfully found that Ken was neglected, but the question remains: why did it take so long? How much pain did this child endure while professionals hemmed and hawed about whether or not to take action? The facts are clear. Missed medical appointments for a sick infant are not a minor issue—they are a life-threatening neglect of duty. And not just mom, but dad too. An absent father should not be allowed to choose to be blindly ignorant of his duties to the child he helped create.
Holding Parents Accountable
It’s time we stop making excuses for parents who fail their children. Ken’s mother was given chance after chance to get her act together, to attend appointments, to follow through on vital medical treatments. And she blew it. Her child suffered because of her choices—there’s no sugarcoating that. Parents who consistently fail to provide the most basic level of care should face swift and serious consequences. It should not take two dozen missed appointments for the system to step in. They should be forced, if the child is taken away, to actively provide for the welfare of the child at least financially while in the care of the government and the foster system.
Why do we continue to allow this kind of neglect to slip through the cracks? A baby’s health is too precious to gamble with, and yet, time and time again, we hear about children like Ken who suffer in silence while the adults responsible for protecting them stand idly by or miss the signs in some way. The courts are charged with “working reunification” and making “reasonable efforts towards reunification” without any real push for culpability on the part of the parent harming the child. Restorative justice must find someone with a moral compass that actual works to be restored.
The System Must Act—Faster, and With Force
This case should outrage everyone, no matter where you stand politically. Baby Ken is a symbol of how we are failing our most vulnerable citizens. Our social services and medical systems need to step up and act with urgency. When a mother repeatedly misses appointments for her sick child, that child’s well-being must come first. Ken’s suffering was prolonged because the system hesitated. His pain was worsened by neglect—not just from his mother, but from the very institutions designed to protect him.
One appointment missed when the child was in need of surgery was one too many and medical providers should enforce stricter guidelines on how many missed appointments are tolerated before a child is reported for neglect or abuse concerns and ultimately removed from a neglectful situation. For baby Ken, action came too late, only after he paid the price with his health and well-being. It is only by the grace of God that he continued to live through his mother’s failure to care on even the most basic level.
It’s time to stop making excuses for blatant parental neglect and start holding those responsible accountable. Ken’s suffering should never have been allowed to continue as long as it did. We owe it to him—and every child like him—to demand better from the systems meant to protect them.
