Frequently Asked Questions
What behaviors have NC Courts found to be alienating for child custody?
In multiple court of appeals cases, which reviewed the trial court rulings in custody cases, different types of behavior have been found to be alienating behavior. Specifically, the following actions have been noted by the court to be alienating (this is not an exclusive list, but examples):
- A mother claimed through “repeated persistent efforts to paint father as physically abusive, mentally unstable and involved in drugs”.
- A mother had coached a child to report a father’s bad behavior to therapists and social workers.
- A parent “unreasonably restricted” the other parent from visitation with the child.
- One parent unilaterally enrolling a child in school or daycare without telling the other parent.
- A father relocating with the minor child without telling the mother of his intention to relocate or his new address.
- A mother listed her boyfriend as the “Father/Guardian” on a daycare application when he was not either to the minor child.
- A mother refused to allow father to visit, despite it being part of a court order, because father did not provide mother with “the phone number to the minor child’s daycare provider”.
There are so many more examples. The key is that alienation is when a parent does not want to recognize the natural, inalienable rights of both the child to know both parents and the other parent to know and have access to the child without a good, reasonable reason.
I want to separate, but my spouse won't leave. How do I force my spouse to leave our home?
The short answer is you might not be able to but as with all things in the law, it depends. There are typically two ways to force a spouse out of a marital residence, one is if domestic violence is currently happening. If you are a victim of domestic violence you can go down to the court house and petition the court for a ex parte domestic violence protective order which would remove your spouse from the residence immediately. If you apply and are not granted the ex parte order, you may still be granted a domestic violence restraining order at trial but if neither order is granted your spouse will not be removed from the residence.
The other way to remove one spouse from the residence is to file a claim with family court requesting the Court grant you a Divorce from Bed and Board. This claim will grant you a legal separation, which would require your spouse to be removed from the residence. This is a bit tricky to claim though because you must make, and be able to substantiate some very serious accusations against your spouse and you will continue to live together until you are scheduled for hearing.
North Carolina Statute 50-7 lays out the grounds for divorce from board as follows:
- Abandons his or her family.
- Maliciously turns the other out of doors.
- By cruel or barbarous treatment endangers the life of the other. In addition, the court may grant the victim of such treatment the remedies available under G.S. 50B-1, et seq.
- Offers such indignities to the person of the other as to render his or her condition intolerable and life burdensome.
- Becomes an excessive user of alcohol or drugs so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and the life of that spouse burdensome.
- Commits adultery.
So you are going to say, your spouse does not fall into any of those categories, how do you separate. Well, the honest answer is you might have to move out, even if it is just temporary. In the state of North Carolina to be separated you must be sleeping under separate roofs. Not in separate bedrooms in the same house but under separate roofs.
How can a prenuptial agreement help protect you from your stepchildren?
What gets resolved in a separation agreement?
What is domestic criminal trespass?
You do not need a court order for a legal separation to occur, so long as you and your spouse are living in separate homes, this law applies even if your spouse's name is on the home.
What this means is that if your spouse moves out of the marital home and you have provided them with written notice that they cannot return, they cannot come back without your consent! You may call the police, or go to the magistrate and take out criminal charges if your spouse continues to show up to the house without your approval. And if they come to the house with a weapon it could be a felony.
What behaviors have NC Courts found to be alienating for child custody?
In multiple court of appeals cases, which reviewed the trial court rulings in custody cases, different types of behavior have been found to be alienating behavior. Specifically, the following actions have been noted by the court to be alienating (this is not an exclusive list, but examples):
- A mother claimed through “repeated persistent efforts to paint father as physically abusive, mentally unstable and involved in drugs”.
- A mother had coached a child to report a father’s bad behavior to therapists and social workers.
- A parent “unreasonably restricted” the other parent from visitation with the child.
- One parent unilaterally enrolling a child in school or daycare without telling the other parent.
- A father relocating with the minor child without telling the mother of his intention to relocate or his new address.
- A mother listed her boyfriend as the “Father/Guardian” on a daycare application when he was not either to the minor child.
- A mother refused to allow father to visit, despite it being part of a court order, because father did not provide mother with “the phone number to the minor child’s daycare provider”.
There are so many more examples. The key is that alienation is when a parent does not want to recognize the natural, inalienable rights of both the child to know both parents.
Are my husband's student loans marital?
The reasoning behind all of this comes from a 2015 case in which the North Carolina Court of Appeals determined that “In order for the court to classify student loan debt as marital debt, the parties must present evidence regarding whether the marriage lasted long enough after incurring the debt and receiving the degree for the married couple to substantially enjoy the benefits of the degree or higher earnings.” If so, then it is likely that all or part of your spouse’s debt will be considered marital.
Do I have to file for legal separation?
considered commenced.
Note: if the parties resume cohabitation or the marital relationship during the period of separation then the date of separation is reset to the next day that the parties re-separate.
How is legal separation defined in NC?
Choosing to separate from a spouse can be a confusing and difficult time. There are a lot of uncertain things that may be going through one's mind, such as child custody, disposition of assets, and finances. For instance, a couple decides that their marriage is over, but they continue to live in the same residence because they "wrote it down" that they are separated. Is that enough? Can you live together but hold yourself out to be separated because you are unsure of the next steps in the process? In North Carolina, the answer is no. Continuing to live together in the same residence is not an option. For spouses to be legally separated, there are two components. (1) The spouses must live separate and apart from one another; and (2) at least one of the spouses must have the intent for this living situation to be permanent with no intent to resume the marriage. Merely writing down that you have separated will not hold muster in North Carolina. If you’re going to write it down, talk to an experienced family law attorney to help you draft a separation agreement to ensure you've covered your bases as to date of separation and other marital issues such as child custody and disposition of assets.
Can we share custody of the dogs?
As much as we treat our dogs as members of our family, the North Carolina court system treats pets as just another piece of property. As such, if you and your spouse are unable to come to an agreement as to who will keep the dogs when going through a separation, a court is highly unlikely to award a shared “custodial” schedule since they are treated as property and not as children. However, if you and your spouse are able to come to an agreement amongst yourselves to share “custody” of the dogs, this can be memorialized in a separation agreement. If this isn’t an option, some factors a court may consider when deciding who to award the dogs to are who purchased the dog, whose name is the dog registered in, and how many dogs you own as a couple. Pet lovers know how much their dogs mean to them and if you are going through a separation, it is best to consult with an attorney to advise you on how to keep your beloved pups.
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Client Questions
What is my spouse won’t agree to leave and I cannot move from my home or it is solely my home?
Answer:
This is a difficult situation that many clients find themselves in. When a living situation is untenable, one solution can be to file for Divorce from Bed and Board and ask the court to kick your spouse out of the home based on fault they have committed. Additionally, you can also ask the court for sequestration of the marital residence in child support or an interim distribution of the marital residence if you have good cause.
If I am planning to move out do I really need a Separation Agreement?
Answer:
Yes, yes, and yes. If you are planning to move out, have moved out, or otherwise have any remaining financial or legal ties with your spouse, you do need a separation agreement. Not only will the agreement give you peace of mind, but there are numerous legal issues to be resolved in your agreement. What about filing taxes or tax deductions? What about Alienation of Affections and Criminal Conversation waivers? What about the Doctrine of Necessaries? All of these things should be resolved in your agreement, along with a multitude of others. And NO you should not simply print off a go by from the internet. Do you really personally know what all the legal jargon means?