Client Resources

Additional information and resources
that can assist you in getting your life back on track.

Support Materials

Divorce & Parenting

Cooperative Parenting & Divorce – Local program that offers an interactive, comprehensive resources for parents to examine the complex reality of parenting apart. For info: 910-256-6163

Making Two Homes Work – Online educational program that examines the impact of conflict on children and how to create a more cooperative co-parenting relationship.

dc4k.org and divorcecare.org – Located nearby support groups where parents can share experiences and rebuild their lives. Children aged 5-12 can participate in activities and make friends with others going through similar transitions.

Mental Health

Josh Fowler, MS​, LMFT

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

​Certified Restoration Therapist​

2210 Wrightsville Ave., Suite 1A

Wilmington, NC 28403

joshfowlermft@gmail.com

​Phone: 910.777.7315

joshfowlertherapy.com

Bridge Builders

311 Judges Road

Building 1, Unit E

Wilmington, NC 28405

Phone: (910) 792-9888

bridgebuilderscounseling.com

Karen Wheeler

3173 Wrightsville Ave

Wilmington, NC 28403

playtherapist@bellsouth.net

Phone: (910) 251-7950

karenwheelerlcswrpt-s.vpweb.com

Denise Scearce

5129 Oleander Drive Suite 103

Wilmington NC, 28403

info@coastalcarecounselingnc.com

Phone: (910) 352-7535

coastalcarecounselingnc.com

Jennifer Sapia

4320 Southport-Supply Rd, Suite 200

Southport NC, 28461

Phone: (910) 457-0800

jennifersapia.net

Kim Johnson

16581 US HWY 17 North Suite 600

Hampstead, NC, 28443

Phone: (910) 270-9995

anchorpsychological.com

Heather Lanier

7741 Market St. Suite I

Wilmington, NC 28411

Phone: (910) 343-8424

thetrinitywellnesscenter.com

Loralie Grigas

1328 N. Lake Park Blvd., Suite 109

Carolina Beach, NC 28428

CBCounseling@ec.rr.com

Phone: (910) 458-4544

carolinabeachcounseling.com

Brenda Knierim

3907 Wrightsville Avenue, Suite 110

Wilmington, NC 28403

info@itahealing.com

Phone: (910) 799-6162

itahealing.com

Thomas Mates

7032 Wrightsville Ave # 103

Wilmington, NC 28403

Phone: (910) 256-6163

matesmentalhealth.com

George Gates

1606 Wellington Ave, Suite H

Wilmington, NC 28401

info@gatewaypsych.com

Phone: (910) 793-6144

gatewaypsych.com

Dr. Phillip Sharp – Psychologist, New Hanover County

219 Racine Dr., Ste. A3

Wilmington, NC 28403

Phone: (910) 313-0460

www.phillipsharp.net/

Insight Health Services – Linda Whitlock, MSW, New Hanover County

311 N. Second Street, Suite 1

Wilmington , NC 28401

info@insightwellnessservices.com

Phone: (910) 251-2106

insightwellnessservices.com

Integrated Therapy Associates – Yael Gold, Ph.D., New Hanover County

3907 Wrightsville Avenue, Suite 110

Wilmington, NC 28403

info@itahealing.com

Phone: (910) 799-6162

itahealing.com

Delta Behavioral Health – Maggie Brice, MSW, New Hanover CountyMaggie Brice, MSW

1606 Physicians Drive, Suite 104

Wilmington, NC 28401

Phone: (910) 343-6890 

deltadbt.com

Wilmington Psych – Tom Boeker, M.D., Ph.D., New Hanover County

3973-B Market St. (Bldg. D)

Wilmington, NC 28403

Phone: 910-763-0699

wilmingtonpsych.net

Agape Counseling Services – Troy Peverall, LPC, LCAS, CCS, New Hanover County

3806 Peachtree Ave., Unit 210

Wilmington, NC 28403

info@agape-counseling.org

Phone: (910) 251-7789

agape-counseling.org

Potentials – Shelley Chambers, MSW, LCSW, Wilmington, NC

2505 S. 17th St., Suite 200

Wilmington, NC 28401

potentialscenter@gmail.com

Phone: (910) 254-4545

potentialsnc.com

Mary Christine Parks, LMFT

4302 Wrightsville Avenue Suite 1

Wilmington, NC 28403

marychristine.lcsw.lcas@gmail.com

Phone: (910) 622-7204

marychristineparks.com

Marcia Gadlin Gelman, Marriage & Family Therapist, LMT, LLC 717-208-8154

Wilmington NC Counseling – Charis Counseling Center, Kim Longbottom and Tracy Boyer-Matthews

4014 Oleander Office Park,

Suite 103, Building D

Wilmington, NC 28403

Phone: (910) 791-5171

counselingwilmingtonnc.com/kim-longbottom/

Matthew Mitchell – Sand Dollar Wellness

1136 Shipyard Blvd.

Wilmington, NC 28412

Phone: (910) 833-5902

www.sanddollarwellnesscenter.com

Lauren Moser Vilar

1133 Military Cutoff Rd Ste 210,

Wilmington, NC 28405

lauren@innersolutionscounseling.com

Phone: ​(910) 210-6160

http://wilmington-counseling.com/

Spiritual Health

Cape Fear Freewill – Baptist Church

5350 Holly Tree Rd,

Wilmington, NC 28409

preacher@capefearchurch.org

Phone: (910) 793-6005

capefearchurch.publishpath.com

First Baptist Church

411 Market Street

Wilmington, NC 28401

Phone: (910) 763-2471

fbcwilmington.org

Grace Baptist Church

1401 N. College Rd.

Wilmington NC, 28405

Phone: (910) 799-6442

gracenc.org

Divorce Care – Spiritual Assistance

info@divorcecare.org

Phone: 800-489-7778

divorcecare.org

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Shelter & Hotline (Wilmington) 910-343-0703

North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence 888-232-9124

Brunswick County, Hope Harbor Home 910-754-5726

hopeharborhome.org

Pender County, Safe Haven of Pender 910-259-8989

safehavenofpender.com

Private Investigators

Lighthouse Investigative – Serving the Wilmington, NC area and beyond, Lighthouse Investigative stands by to provide you with the information you need at a competitive price.

212 Princess Street,

Wilmington, NC 28401

lispioffice@gmail.com

Phone: (910) 803-1411

lighthouseinvestigative.com

Bert Croom, LLC – Private Investigations, New Hanover County

201 N. Front Street, Suite 513

Wilmington, N.C. 28401

bertpi@aol.com

Phone: (910) 350-6777

bertcroom.com

Cape Fear Investigative Services – Private Investigator, New Hanover County

401 N. Chestnut St. – Suite D

Wilmington, NC 28401

bill@capefearinvestigative.com

Phone: (910) 762-4374

capefearinvestigative.com

East Coast Private Investigations – Private Investigator, New Hanover County

1516 Dawson Street

Wilmington, NC 28401

ECPISearch@gmail.com

Phone: (910) 341-0006

eastcoastprivateinvestigations.com

Paula M Hayes – Private Investigator

2120 Capital Drive

Wilmington,NC 28405

Phone: (910) 604-1749

www.paulapi.com

Family Law Attorneys in other Counties

Separating Together – Adrian J. Davis, Wake County

Adrian Davis – Separating Together – Wake County

4600 Marriott Drive, Suite 200

Raleigh, NC 27612

Phone: (919) 573-4842

separatingtogether.com

Hatcher Law Group – Rowan, Stanly and Union Counties

801 East Trade Street, Suite 100,

Charlotte, NC 28202

Phone: (704) 769.2566

hatcherlawgroup.com

Rosen Law Firm – Durham, Cabarrus, Wake, Orange, Gaston, Johnston, Mecklenburg Counties

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 118

Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

Phone: (919) 787-6668

rosen.com

Child Support

N.C. Child Support Guidelines – Child Support Resource, North Carolina

nddhacts01.dhhs.state.nc.us/WorkSheet.jsp

N.C. Child Support Calculator – Rosen Law Firm, North Carolina

rosen.com/childcalculator

N.C. Division of Social Services – N.C. Department of Health and Human Services

ncdhhs.gov

N.C. Child Support Enforcement – eChild Support, North Carolina

ncchildsupport.com

Collaborative Attorneys

 

J. Albert Clyburn

502 Market Street

Wilmington, NC 28401

Phone: (910) 202-1077

wilmingtonfamilylaw.com

Ashley Michael

701 Market Street

Wilmington, NC 28401

amichael@craigeandfox.com

Phone: (910) 815-0085

coastalcollab.squarespace.com/ashley-michael

Financial

Coastline Mortgage

coastline-mortgage.com

Helpful Info

From the Blog

How porn addiction affects marriage and causes divorce

I know that about 1/4 of my clients or their spouses are addicted at any point in time. What is so bad about an addict’s life? Why do they turn to drugs or porn? They own houses, cars, kids, pets, savings, vacations, and tons of stuff. Many of my clients, and maybe even my staff or I, are addicted to their mobile phones even. Porn addiction is a rampant reason for divorce. Porn addiction is likely the first step before a spouse cheats. Addiction is everywhere.

New research out of Portugal is teaching us that the American ideas on addiction are creating more problems. Portugal is the only nation that has decriminalized all drugs. Basically, it is not against the law to take any drug in Portugal.  The ideas about nudity and porn are also different in Europe also.

I just returned from my trip to Germany.  While there I spent hours riding on the trains and had plenty of time to think.  I thought about the clients who are porn addicts and how watching a stranger having sex on a computer screen is causing them to lose the actual person they are married to.  We can blame the spouse for not engaging in sex with their husband or wife under the belief that if only there was enough sex there is no need for porn.  But porn is used in place of human connection just like all addictive substances.  So when I see a case that involves a spouse’s use of porn, I now need to think about what type of human connections they have available to them.  Can this porn addiction stop?  Will the porn watching happen in the presence of the minor children or be on a computer they use?  The issue is pervasive in the United States and marriages are suffering because of porn. Porn is not the only addictive substance which our society is abusing, but it is one of the most hurtful to the other spouse.  A spouse that is being abandoned for porn blames themselves and finds fault within, thus suffering an identity crisis or at least a drop in self-esteem.

If you love someone with an addiction – click the link and watch the Ted Talk that pops up. Tell me what you think….are we on the right road with tough love or do we simply need more honest, authentic, and sympathetic love?

Divorce is a death that is filled with sorrow.

I recently read A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman, which I highly recommend especially during the time of a divorce. One quote hit me like a ton of bricks: “Sorrow is unreliable in that way. When people don’t share it there is a good chance that it will drive them apart instead.

At the time of the vows you remember the hope, the joy, and sometimes the fear?  And now here you are – at the death of the dream. Divorce happens. It starts with the unfixable emotional hurts and culminates in separation.

That’s where I come in as an attorney. My clients have to share their sorrow and loss with me. I don’t take it upon myself, because sorrow is so very personal, but when shared it is lessened. When the pain of separation and divorce is understood and when the intricacies of the financial and legal issues are managed, then the emotional pain can be felt and moved through. It doesn’t disappear, but like all emotional pain, it can dull with time and new joys can fill the void.

Just yesterday I received an angry email from a client and I was confused. Prior to the email I had not heard any concerns, any hurt, any frustration. I had thought the case was moving in the right direction and the client was happy with both the representation and the future. How wrong. Yet, how could I have known?

Healing the Sorrow of Divorce

The worse thing for a divorce attorney is when the client suffers in silence. When my clients keeps their pain locked inside and won’t share it, I am lost in the quagmire of trying to help with no clear direction. That has the tendency to cause poor outcomes, a lack of understanding, and a loss of rights. So do the best a client can do is to be honest with me as their attorney.  Tell me of the loss you suffer through daily or when the pain is so much that the process becomes muddy and confusing or unbearable for that day. I care and I never want you to suffer in silence.

Here is a link to the book I mentioned:

Janet L. Gemmell

Q&A: Worried About Money

Question:  I have been married for 12 years to my husband.  He only works part-time.  Will I owe him alimony and if so how much and for how long?  – Worried About Money

Dear Worried About Money:

Alimony (and it’s kissing cousin Post Separation Support) are paid by a spouse that earns more to a spouse that earns less.  It does not matter if you are a husband or wife, the statute does not consider gender.  Based solely on what you wrote, yes you may owe alimony.

Now, the rest of your question is difficult.  In some NC counties there are alimony calculators or formulas, but we do not use one here.  The judge looks at the reasonable needs of both parties based off of their budgets and incomes which they provide on financial affidavits to the court.  The court may consider why your spouse is not employed full-time and can even impute him with income.  If he is imputed with income, then the court treats him as if he is actually earning that amount.  In that case, he may earn enough of imputed income that you would not owe him any alimony.  Before you agree to anything, go and at least meet with an attorney and find out what they think about your specific situation.  You could end up paying for years, so make sure the amount is correct.  You could also end up not paying at all.  That is more than enough reason to meet with an attorney.  Best of luck!

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information above is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. This answer is provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Don’t Understand

Question:

Dear Cape Fear Family Law:

Do I need to file for separation?  How is that different from divorce?

-Don’t Understand

 

Answer:

Dear Don’t Understand:

Separation is the date you and your spouse start to live separately – not in separate rooms in the same house, but in different homes.  Divorce is the legal end to the marriage, which you can file for 1 day and 1 year after the date of separation.  The issues of post separation support, alimony, and property division need to occur prior to divorce, or the rights are lost.  Forever lost!  If you want to keep your attorney fees and costs to a minimum, try to resolve things through a Separation Agreement or through the courts as close to the separation date as before.  Talk to an attorney about your options and get moving.

 

 

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information above is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. This answer is provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

 

Duct Tape Needed

Question:

Dear Cape Fear Family Law:

I am supposed to co-parent with my ex, but he is impossible.  He constantly tells the children things they should not know – how much I receive in child support, that I have a new boyfriend, or things about our marriage that are in the past.  How do you parent with someone that hates you?  Can the court help me shut him up?

-Duct Tape Needed

 

Answer:

Dear Duct Tape Needed:

It is amazingly difficult to co-parent with someone that is involving the children in disputes they have with you. I hope you have enrolled your children in counseling so they can learn to cope and handle his negative behavior.  Court may be an option, if you need the court to order him to participate in counseling, etc. However, sometimes we just have to cope with negative parenting, try to parallel parent instead of co-parenting, and get counseling advice. Talk to an attorney about your options and stay positive.

 

 

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information above is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. This answer is provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

That’s Mine!

Question:

Dear Cape Fear Family Law:

My mother passed away 5 years ago and left me some family land.  About 3 years ago my husband and I cashed in some investments and built a house.  I found my husband cheating with my friend.  Since I inherited the land, are both the house and land mine?  I don’t have to share it with him, right?

-That’s mine!

 

Answer:

Dear That’s mine!:

Separate property is generally inherited, gifted to you, or items owned prior to marriage.  The land was inherited and would be separate, however I suspect that you may have changed the title during the time you were building the house!  This happens often during a refinance.  If you did change the title to include your husband’s name, you may have “gifted” the property to the marriage so that it is marital and not separate.  See an attorney before you do anything else and have them look!  Best of luck.

 

 

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information above is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. This answer is provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.