By Erica Benson
Recently I met with a number of therapists at a conference. All of them work with children of divorced parents, and all of them have seen firsthand the positive impact that a parent coordinator can have on a child’s life. Let me tell you about one of stories related to me through the mental health expert about one of their clients, a 10-year-old little girl whose parents benefitted greatly from working with a parent coordinator.
Before her parents began working with a parent coordinator, this little girl was caught in the middle of their constant arguments and disagreements. She felt torn between them and often felt like she had to choose sides. This led to a great deal of stress and anxiety for her, as well as a general sense of unease and uncertainty about the future.
The stress was evidenced by the child constantly being sick to her stomach, inattentive at school, and having a hard time relating to her peers. The parents additionally each thought they knew best and that the child was “sick” because of the other parent. Neither parent was able to see their own behavior in the situation. Often the child was forced to bring notes between the parents or relay their conversations through her on the phone, seriously – each parent would yell in the background to each other through their child’s little ear on the phone.
However, once her parents began working with a parent coordinator, things gradually started to change. The parent coordinator facilitated negotiations between the parents, which helped them find common ground and identify solutions that were in the best interests of their daughter. The parent coordinator also helped improve communication between the parents, which helped reduce the frequency and intensity of their conflicts.
As a result, this little girl’s life improved dramatically. She no longer felt caught in the middle of her parents’ disputes and was able to enjoy spending time with both of them without feeling like she had to choose sides. She was also able to relax and feel more secure in her home environment, which helped improve her overall well-being. Best of all, she began to have more friends and asked to invite them home for play dates and sleep overs, which was a win for both parents during their respective custodial/parenting time periods.
From my perspective as an attorney representing parents in high conflict custody cases, the benefits of working with a parent coordinator are clear. By providing a neutral third party to facilitate negotiations and improve communication between parents, parent coordinators can help create a more stable and supportive environment for children of divorced parents. They can also help reduce the burden on the court system and ultimately lead to a more efficient and effective resolution of custody disputes.
In conclusion, working with a parent coordinator can have a significant positive impact on the lives of children of divorced parents. By providing a neutral third party to facilitate negotiations and improve communication between parents, parent coordinators can help create a more stable and supportive environment for children. If you’re going through a custody dispute, I highly recommend considering the benefits of working with a parent coordinator.
