It was the 4th text in less than 5 minutes. It was the 40th text in the last hour. Sitting at his desk, he could not focus anymore. He was still an hour away from lunch and could not simply go out to his car and make a call. He had already ignored two missed calls. He knew that if he did not respond soon, he was going to have a difficult time tonight when he got home. Yet his boss had just given him his third look of irritation this morning when his phone buzzed with the latest text message. How was he going to get some peace and make this stop?
The next day he walked into his counselor’s office. He needed – no required – help. How did he get to this point? Where was all of his happiness? Why was his spouse always so up and down, so reactionary?
His counselor started to talk to him about boundaries. He needed to set boundaries. Boundaries would be his solutions. A boundary or two could stop the text harassment.
So how does he draw the line in the sand and make it into a line in the cement? First, you determine your limits ensuring that self-care is a priority. You can also think of this as your minimum standards that you will not go below. For example, maybe one of your limits is that you will not be yelled at or you will leave the situation.
Next, you will need to tune in and figure out what you are feeling and give yourself permission to feel that way. You may have to suffer some of the emotions, but identifying what you are feeling can help you figure out what you need to get out of the negative emotions or what actions may give you the positive emotions you desire.
Finally, be willing to take action. If someone is violating your boundary, it is necessary to follow through on your action plan when you put the boundary down. Make your boundary a promise to yourself for safety and welfare.
- Setting Boundaries
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