Custody Holiday Traditions

I was completely unprepared for how Christmas and everything around the holiday was turned over to his mother...
December 21, 2022
Custody Holiday Traditions

My first Christmas as a married woman was interesting to say the least. Christmas Eve was “the” big family meal with a stuffed turkey. In my childhood, cookies were freely eaten all week of the holiday. Christmas Day (the actual Dec. 25th) was always a day for snacking without a big meal. During the week of Christmas it was just fun, laughter, memories made and remembered. That is how I knew Christmas for over 30 years.

And then … I married my husband and he already had a child, my step-daughter (bonus child). My husband is not a momma’s boy, so I was completely unprepared for how Christmas and everything around the holiday was turned over to his mother’s handling. My mother-in-law is a Southern Belle of the highest order, and I mean that in the best possible way. (Yes, you are reading the envy correctly). So many people wanted invitations to her home and her holiday events that I failed to see how my automatic involvement through my husband and bonus child was a coup.

My own daddy (yes I still call him that to this day) was as Southern as it comes and yet the culture shock was difficult. Mind you that after dinner in my former NY life, we watched Arnold Schwarzenegger movies … that was not the case in my new married family. It was sooooo different in NC.

Christmas Day was when everyone received a stocking with your name on it (yes, personalized people!!!), all gifts were opened slowly and one at a time, taking turns with everyone watching and caring. Santa had visited during the night and left unwrapped gifts. UNWRAPPED?!?! And then everyone just spent time together (again no Conan the Barbarian or sequels) until an early dinner around lunchtime.

What is my point here? Christmas is different and when custody conflicts, step parents, new siblings, and additional bonus grandparents appear on the scene. I still to this day think that watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies on Christmas Eve should be made into law, but my step-daughter needed her traditions to be the same when I arrived on the scene. Don’t get me wrong, we still added in some new traditions, but I received the bonus of new traditions. Remember that although different, neither set of traditions were better (okay I’ll stop on Arnold here, but …. Better!). And every single child is different and my step-daughter needed consistency.

Be kind to the other parent and let them have their own traditions with the child(ren) and recognize that moving your celebration by a day or two, making changes, or giving concessions is all in the Christmas spirit. Let’s focus on the children this season and make decisions with them in mind. Yes, you may lose or delay some traditions until next year, but your children will gain so much.

For me this year, if you are lonely, feeling sad about a tradition delayed, or just need a pick me up – go ahead and watch some Arnold Schwarzenegger movies – just “Get to the Choppa” and Jingle All the Way (1996). Merry Christmas

How to Preserve Digital Evidence So a NC Judge Will Actually Use It

How to Preserve Digital Evidence So a NC Judge Will Actually Use It

North Carolina trial judges are cautious about digital evidence. Screenshots can be fabricated, modified, or taken out of context. To get digital evidence admitted under North Carolina Rule of Evidence 901 (Authentication), you must establish its authenticity, completeness, and chain of custody.

Raw Screenshot vs. Forensic Capture

Steps for Lawful, Admissible Digital Evidence Preservation

  1. Capture Complete Screenshots with Context: Do not crop out battery bars, network indicators, contact names, dates, or timestamps. Capture the full conversation thread leading up to and following the key statement.
  2. Export Native Files and Metadata: Where possible, export thread logs directly to PDF or native format (e.g., .eml files for email, .vcf or full carrier logs for SMS). Ensure EXIF metadata (embedded time, location, and device data) remains intact on digital photos.
  3. Obtain Certified Carrier Records: Request official call detail records and text message transmission logs from cellular service providers via subpoena or formal discovery requests.
  4. Maintain a Detailed Evidence Log: Record the date, time, device used, and method of capture for every piece of digital evidence preserved.

Digital Capture Methods Matrix: Legality & Admissibility in NC

The following matrix summarizes common methods of capturing digital evidence in North Carolina family law proceedings:

Frequently Asked Questions About Digital Evidence in NC Divorce

Is it legal to screenshot my spouse’s texts in NC?

Yes, it is entirely legal to screenshot text messages sent directly to your device or sent within a group thread that includes you. Because you are a party to the communication, you have lawful access to the messages. To ensure admissibility in court, capture complete conversation threads that display the sender’s phone number or contact header, alongside full date and time stamps.

Can I use Life360 data in a NC custody case?

Yes, Life360 or Apple Find My location data can be used in North Carolina custody cases if the account was established mutually and you accessed the location data legally through your own authorized user profile. Location logs can help corroborate or refute claims regarding travel times, missed custody handoffs, or presence at unapproved locations. However, if you secretly log into your spouse’s private account after separation to track them, that data becomes inadmissible and exposes you to legal sanctions.

Is Ring camera footage admissible in NC family court?

Yes, Ring camera and video doorbell footage is routinely admitted in North Carolina family court to document custody exchanges, property damage, or domestic disturbances. Because outdoor entryways and driveways do not carry an expectation of privacy, footage captured by property-mounted cameras is lawful. To introduce Ring footage in trial, you must provide the raw video file, preserve the embedded metadata, and verify the time and date of the recording.

What happens if I put spyware on my spouse’s phone in NC?

Installing spyware, keyloggers, or hidden tracking software on a spouse’s phone is a crime in North Carolina under the NC Wiretap Act (N.C.G.S. § 15A-287) and Computer Trespass laws (N.C.G.S. § 14-458), as well as federal wiretap statutes. Any evidence obtained through spyware is strictly inadmissible in family court. Furthermore, the spouse who installed the spyware faces potential felony charges, mandatory payment of opposing attorney fees, and severe loss of credibility with the judge in custody and financial rulings.

How do I prove digital evidence is authentic in a North Carolina court?

Under North Carolina Rule of Evidence 901, you prove digital evidence is authentic by demonstrating that the evidence is what you claim it to be. This requires showing a clear chain of custody, providing unedited files containing native metadata, cross-referencing screenshots with official cellular carrier billing statements, or presenting witness testimony from the individual who captured or received the transmission.

Take Control of Your Digital Strategy Today

Navigating digital evidence in a divorce or custody dispute requires technical precision and experienced legal counsel. One wrong move can turn valuable evidence into a legal liability.

Protect your rights and secure your family’s future with our actionable digital evidence resources:

  • Download the Homewrecker Evidence Guide
  • Learn exactly how to audit your digital privacy, disconnect shared family accounts safely, and archive text messages for your legal team without violating state or federal privacy statutes.

Ready to discuss your case directly with an expert? Schedule a Confidential Consultation with Board-Certified Family Law Specialist Janet L. Gemmell at Cape Fear Family Law Today.

Legal Disclaimer & Ethical Notice

  • No Attorney-Client Relationship: Reading this blog or downloading any related resource does not create an attorney-client relationship. That relationship is formed only when a written engagement agreement is signed by both parties.
  • Information, Not Advice: This content is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every equitable distribution case is fact-specific, and outcomes depend on the particular assets, debts, marital history, and county involved.
  • No Guarantee of Results: Past case outcomes do not predict future results.
  • Office Responsibility: Cape Fear Family Law is responsible for the content of this advertisement. Our principal office is located in Wilmington, North Carolina, with additional offices in Durham, Raleigh, and the Jacksonville/Camp Lejeune corridor.

Select your North Carolina County

Select the North Carolina County that your case will be filed in to see which of our attorneys practice within your county. Then choose a lawyer form the list to read more about each attorney.

Janet Gemmell
Practicing law for over 20 years may have caused Janet some gray hairs, but she remains young at heart, probably because she loves what she does. Janet's focus is to work with clients building new lives after relationship turmoil and although it is hard work, she finds it utterly rewarding. Such work and experiences gives Janet a ton of insight and along with her legal knowledge (afterall she is a Board Certified Family Law Specialist) she is able to get to the heart of any legal matter quickly in order to start helping clients find resolutions and to get their lives back on track.

Latest Blog Posts

Digital Evidence in NC Family Law

What You Can Legally Capture, What’s a Crime, and What Judges Actually Use

How to Legally Change Your Name in NC After Divorce (2026)

The $10 Form Most People Never Hear About — and the One Case Where You Actually Need a Lawyer

Alimony Negotiation in NC

Step-Downs, Lump Sums, Tradeoffs, and What Actually Settles

Financially Dependent Spouse in NC

How to Get Temporary Support, Housing, and Counsel Before Final Orders

Enforcement and Arrears in NC

What Actually Happens When Your Ex Stops Paying Child Support?

Does 50/50 Custody Eliminate Child Support in NC?

(Spoiler: No — Here’s the Math)

Our Core Values

Knowledgeable

Knowledgeable

We know what to do and we actively share our knowledge.

Integrity

Integrity

Honesty in action and a good moral compass.

Empathetic

Empathetic

Active understanding without judgment.

Accountable

Accountable

To yourself, your clients, your colleagues and the court.